Psychosis

This Monday Sifu sent me a text that read the following, "You are on for the fight." Those 6 words had an effect on me, to say the least. I sent out an invite and email to my friends and family letting them know the details. I have no idea what time I am fighting but I really don't care. I have been training every day, with some very experienced teammates. John and Ahmed are very skilled and fantastic teachers. They have helped me step me game up to a new level in the past few days. I have so many things to work on but anyone who knows me knows how much I love a challenge.

Tuesday during sparring I gave people a glimpse inside my head. After Ahmed connected with some sort of punch I pivoted out, slammed my gloves together, and yelled something intelligible. Immediately I overhead the "calm down, take it easy, relax" typical banter.

I will start by saying that few people have seen me train intensely. I push myself every day, that goes without question but sometimes, every once in a while, a switch goes off inside, and I become consumed with something. Do not mistake this for a clouded, veil of emotion that prevents me from seeing what is before me. This is a clearing of my mind. A way to expel the cobwebs and distractions. I am sure I get a "look" in my eyes, although no one has ever told me nor seen it myself. What I can say is this. . . stay away. Don't come at me with a lot of talk. None of this, "Adam do this" or "Adam relax." It serves a purpose you cannot fully understand.

I am my biggest critic. I have pushed myself for long enough, alone, to know this. I know what works for me and what doesn't. Don't confuse me screaming, pounding my fists, or any other typical showing of "losing control" as just that. It is, in fact, the opposite. I know I can be better than I am today. And tomorrow I will be better still. Call it passion, call it attention seeking, but do not call it weakness. Believe me, when you hear me clear the air, know that I am focused. I become a man possessed, obsessed with bettering myself in any aspect.

I have been called many things. Crazy, an asshole (most common), loud, obnoxious but all of those things carry an air of negativity from the announcer. I take those negative things and flip them. I let them fuel me. No one can push themselves harder, faster, longer than I. Striving for perfection is what causes us to be better people. When you settle for mediocrity, you have already lost the battle.

Psychosis is defined as a loss of contact with reality. In the ring is where my reality will be realized. My screams and yells, my barks and outlandish behavior are evidence of a war, a reality you are not a part of.

This is my psychosis, I embrace it.

Sparring Party: Part 2

This past Saturday (5/15) was a great turn out for sparring. John brought some of the guys he trains with and I got to work on my San Da. Even though the fight I get, soon hopefully, will be low kicks; I still want to practice San Da. I felt like I was floundering a bit against John (two 3 min rounds) but according to Sifu I actually was doing much better than expected (even Victor made comments on my improvements). I tried my hardest to answer back and not just throw kicks. This came after I was caught many times and taken down. Getting slammed on the mat has a way of resonating points made by your corner. Near the end of the second round, although exhausted, I managed to avoid one take down with a sprawl and got in a few shots of my own. I literally rolled out of the ring and rested until I got in another 2 rounds with one of John's friends, also named John.

All total I did 6, 3 minute, rounds. The rest was only 30 sec which definitely showed how much conditioning I need. Which is fine, I just need to find time to run.

Monday I got the gym early and did a mile on the treadmill at 7:30 pace and then did 5-30 sec HIIT, with the final one at 15% incline (lots of fun). Along with about 5 rounds of bag work before MMA.

Tuesday, started of with 10 rounds of bag work then boxing (with X) and Kickboxing 2. We worked on low kick defense and then sparred. I was pretty tired after classes and it showed during sparring. At one point, I got hit (not especially hard) and stopped for a second, thinking I got my bell rung. Sifu said if that happens to just shake it off and look ahead as if to say "Bring it on." I think I was just tired and the shock of getting hit kinda "took the fight" out of me. However, I did not let that happen again so in fact it put the fight in me.

I could not answer Ahmed in the first 2 rounds, whenever he kicked me. I got frustrated and angry during the third round after Sifu kept telling me to answer. My response "He's too fucking far away." His comeback, "Then move closer." Simple yet effective. I, more or less, said "Fuck it" in my head and just moved in; blocking kicks until I was close enough to box. I would hit him and then move back out, eating some kicks and punches but also giving some of my own. I ended the round much better than I started and then moved on to another opponent. After Ahmed I sparred just 2 rounds with a new person, Greg (?), who wanted to try it out. I worked on answering and distance as well as defense (per Sifu's recommendation).

Hopefully, my opponent will be somewhere in the middle of Greg and Ahmed. Either way, I cannot wait on my fight. I told Sifu to contact the promoter and tell them that I will take the low kick fight. Why not take what is offered. Get it out of the way. Then move on to the next fight after a good showing in this one. At least it will give me more time to work on my clinch, take-downs, and wrestling.

Improvements:
Take down defense, clinch, answering kicks with punches, distance/range, setting up kicks with punches

Positives:
Conditioning is better, sprawl looks good (when I use it), Improved greatly from last week

Leave it to the experts

The main concern most people voice, when they learn I am training for MMA, is safety. This is an excerpt from “Blood in the Cage” by L. Jon Wertheim explaining the difference between boxing, “The Sweet Science”, and MMA.

While boxers don’t battle in a steel cage or punch opponents when they are on the ground, they do something much more perilous; they trade head shots for three-minute rounds. Factor in sparring sessions, and the cumulative effect is devastating. If Muhammad Ali, the sport’s most decorated champion, is an uncomfortable reminder of boxing's brutality, there are thousands of others who share his fate.
Mixed martial arts might involve more blood and broken bones, but repeated head trauma is not part of the equation. A downed fighter isn’t given a standing eight count to ‘clear the cobwebs’ before his opponent delivers more blows to the head; rather, he can take the fight to the ground and ward off punches with wrestling moves. A staggering fighter can clutch and grab all he wants. And if he’s truly in dancer, he can tap out without being stigmatized as a coward. What’s more, the average boxing match is more than three times as long as the average MMA fight. “You’re going to see worse cuts in MMA than in boxing, especially with longer rounds, and there are more knockouts,’ says Dr. Margaret Goodman, past chairwoman of the Nevada State Athletics Commission’s Medical Advisory Board. ‘But overall, is it safer than boxing? I think so. Absolutely. You don’t have ten rounds of guys taking shots to the head.’

Painting the town Red

Even though I have given up drinking while training for my fight I still go out. Last night was Cinco De Mayo and Amanda was in town from San Fransico, I was obligated to go out. I met up with some HS friends, Bill I have known since I was 7, and Amanda's sister Lisa. Everyone kept asking "When is your fight? I can't wait to see you fight. Tell me about your fight. I know you are going to win." What I have come to realize is two things.

First, my friends are really excited to watch me fight. I have heard everything from "Dude you are crazy in real life I can't imagine you in the ring," to "You are just going to go nuts on whoever you face." In every conversation I have with friends or strangers it is only a matter of time before someone asks about an update on the fight date. I wish I had an answer. The only person who is more excited about this then them. . . is me. I want to thank everyone in advance for their support. You will all know as SOON as I do when my fight is.

Secondly, I have come to realize that I want to fight not just to win or to prove myself. I want to fight because it is the next logical step in my training. I have amassed enough skills in the gym to finally use them during practical application (fighting another person). I am eager to test myself against another method. To push myself harder. I overheard a conversation yesterday that John was having with Les. He was telling him that if he wins and beats someone he learns less than if he loses. As good as you are you learn more from losing to someone who is better than by beating someone who is worse. You improve more from a loss than from a victory. As sweet as a victory would be, and that's what I am shooting for, I do not fear a loss. I will learn from the experience no matter the outcome. I just want it to happen.

Take This Down

So I missed the open MMA class on Monday but was told that I didn't "miss" much. Tuesday was fun, although my sleep schedule was completely messed up by the overnights and I felt like shit. I did feel better after but during was rough going. Definitely hard to focus and my stamina was most certainly lacking. Working on clinch work at the end was fun and I cannot wait to use it.

MMA today was good, the first 5 exercises of the 300 Workout were PR'ed, while the PR's I made last week in the last 5 were only 1 or 2 seconds faster. My overall time was a bit slower only because I had to remind Xavier what the drills were. We then did a short grappling competition. X slammed me on my head during a guillotine choke and I got my first stinger since RHS Football. Ahhh the memories. I was a little dazed but mostly it helped sink in the choke so I had to submit.

Sparring has been sparse at the gym as of late and I hope people stick to coming when they say they will. I need to get work in using all the techniques in a real situation before my fight. I haven't sparred in a few weeks and I know I am rusty. Hopefully this Saturday will be different.

Improvements:
Take downs, not getting caught in a guillotine, stepping out on round kicks, EATING PLAN!!!!

Positives:
Improvements on 6 of the 300 exercises, got the "skaters" drill down on the balance ball, bought a bike and taking it EVERYWHERE